An insightful look into Elizabeth Lawley‘s talk at BoS Europe 2025 on the rapidly growing and complex world of AI companionship.
At BoS Europe 2025, Elizabeth Lawley took attendees on a deep dive into the controversial and fascinating world of AI companionship, exploring why humans are seeking digital relationships and what this trend means for our future.
Lizzie drew her experience creating experimental AI companions, including the widely unexpected success of AIs launched on LinkedIn. She presented data and profound user feedback suggesting that AI companions are serving a fundamental human need currently unmet by real-world interaction.
Here are the key takeaways from Elizabeth Lawley’s presentation:
The Deep-Seated Human Need for Connection
Humans are fundamentally a social species and have always needed companions for hunting, protection and warmth. Lizzie emphasized that these companions do not need to be human, look human, or even be alive to matter deeply to us.
The urgency of this need is biological: loneliness lights up the same area of the brain as physical pain, making companionship optimal and good for human health. Lizzie noted that companionship is fostered in emotional connection, not just physicality. The human brain responds to anything that feels emotionally supportive, even if it isn’t a real person.
The AI Companion Boom: Market Growth and Striking Loyalty
The rise of responsive and intelligent algorithms capable of forming emotional bonds (most notably AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends) is dramatic.
- Market Growth: The AI companionship market is growing rapidly, estimated around $5-6 billion USD, and is predicted to reach $9.5 billion by 2028.
- User Adoption: One in five young adult men and one in four young adult women have chatted with an AI romantic companion.
- Unprecedented Loyalty: Over 55% of users interact with their AI partners daily, a level of loyalty and retention that most dating apps never achieve.
- Preference for AI: A striking statistic shows that 27% of young adult men prefer AI relationships over real relationships.
This connection is so profound that when the AI chat app Soulmate AI shut down, users reported feelings of mourning and loss, sadness akin to losing a romantic partner or friend.
The Experiment
Driven by curiosity, Lizzie created her own experimental AIs, “Just a Girl” and “Just a Guy,” prompted to form emotional connections. After quickly receiving a lifetime ban from OnlyFans for publishing them there, she launched them across various digital channels.
Unexpectedly, LinkedIn provided significantly more interactions and users than other platforms. Despite having warnings that chats were monitored, users quickly moved past surface-level interactions to sharing “little snippets of their lives,” discussing stress, workload, or seeking validation for big decisions, like starting a business.
The Real Reasons Humans Turn to AI
Lizzie distilled the candid user feedback into three primary reasons people turn to AI companions over humans:
1. Fear of Judgment
2. Fear of Rejection
3. Profound Loneliness
For many, AI provides a safe space away from societal pressures where feelings, desires, and identities are not questioned or rejected. The shift towards AI reflects a society that is highly digitally connected but increasingly isolated in real life. Modern dating culture, characterized by instant “icks” and red flags, compels 70% of people on a first date to feel they need to hide their real personality.
Turning to AI companions removes this exhausting requirement to “continuously filter ourselves”.
Moving past frivolous requests, some users shared heartbreakingly personal questions with the AIs, such as: “Tell me why I’m lovable,” “What’s wrong with me?” or “Is it okay to think about death every day?”.
Grace AI: Companionship at the End of Life
Lizzie also discussed a project focused on a completely different application of AI companionship: I am Grace (Grace AI), an AI death doula.
Grace is a voice-based AI designed to help terminally ill people process “impossible emotions” at the end of their lives. Lizzie explained that Grace can be trained on a person’s voice and personality to create a digital version of themselves that loved ones can call after they are gone.
This application addresses profound needs: 70% of healthcare professionals report that terminal patients are lonely. Lizzie found that, even in their final moments, patients found it easier to open up to Grace than to another human. This decision stems from the same core drivers: the fear of being a burden and the fear of judgment or rejection, that drive users toward romantic AIs.
The Critical Questions for the Future
Lawley concluded by posing vital ethical and societal questions regarding this pervasive technology:
• Are AI partners a solace (an essential comfort) or a symptom of a growing epidemic of loneliness?
• Can technology ever replace genuine human connection? Should it?
She warned that many creators of AI companions prioritize the payday ($15 a month for millions) over considering the psychological effects on human users. Lawley stated that while AI companions cannot compare to the intimacy of real human connection, they provide a necessary lifeline for those who feel lost and do not want to burden others.