In These Uncertain Times…

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In These Uncertain Times…

A rather wonderful use of some of the messaging from inbound emails Jessica Salfia at the West Virginian Council of Teachers of English turned into a poem.

It takes something special to turn some of the terrible marketing copy being shoved into outbound email into something that is both beautiful and somehow energizing so congratulations Jessica, you win our Lemmy of the Week Award.

Jessica Salfia Marketing Poetry

There’s an alternative career as a copywriter waiting to happen. Probably. If you wanted it.

Messaging, of course, is incredibly important and no doubt you have seen almost every possible version of these lines land in your inbox over the past few weeks – quite often, followed immediately with a sales pitch, buy-now offer or something similar. The words lose their effect and often seem to stand in stark and hollow contrast to the marketing message or sales pitch that follow.

We’re going to try not to do this at BoS.

  • We know what’s happening in the world around us already.
  • We don’t want to offer cod-scientific advice or easy platitudes or fill your inbox with meaningless words.
  • We want to try to focus our effort on serving and building our community around the world and be a place where you can extract the highest possible value from some of the smartest software people on the planet.

ENJOY:

The First Lines of Emails I’ve Received While Quarantining

In these uncertain times as we navigate the new normal,
Are you willing to share your ideas and solutions?
As you know, many people are struggling.

I know you are up against it:
the digital landscape.
We share your concerns.
As you know, many people are struggling.

We hope this note finds you and your family safe.
We’ve never seen anything like this before.
Here are 25 Distance Learning Tips!
As you know, many people are struggling.

Feeling Fiesta today? Happy Taco Tuesday!
Calories don’t count during a pandemic.
Grocers report flour shortages as more people are baking than ever!
As you know, many people are struggling.

Count your blessings. Share your blessings.
Get Free Curb-side pick up or ship to your house!
Chicken! Lemon! Artichokes!
As you know, many people are struggling.

How are you inspiring greatness today?
We have a cure for your cabin fever.
Pandemic dial-in town hall TONIGHT!
As you know, many people are struggling.

Mother’s Day looks a little different this year.
You’re invited to shop all jeans for 50% off!
Yes, buy 1, get 1 free!
As you know, many people are struggling.

Call us to discuss a loan extension without penalty.
ACT NOW: tell Congress Charters should Not Line their Pockets During the COVID crisis.
Now shipping facemasks as recommended by the CDC.
As you know, many people are struggling.

This is not normal.

Our advice: Wash your hands, wear a mask, stay in touch with the people who are important to you, don’t decide you’re an armchair epidemiologist. Be nice.


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